Beginning of Holidays

Wow, I am blogging more often... But it'll pass, believe me, it will. It's kinda funny actually. When I went to church a 3 days ago, the pastor was talking about people being addicted to approval. And that everyone has a 'Grand Stand' and they do things for the 'Grand Stand'. I guess I'm sorta like that. They say I have to get everyone OFF and leave jsut God there. Makes sense I guess. He already knows what I'm really like, so what's the point in changing, right? He knows what I'm thinking, so even if I didn't say it out loud, because I knew it wouldn't please others, or it would make things awkward, he would know anyway... Did that make sense? Oh well. Oh yea, I got baptised!!! On Sunday. 13th of September 2009. Yay! The water was really hot, cos it was a heated pool. Hahahah. Fingers are cold cos my gloves are in the wash... TimTan

Short cos the last one was long

Oh yea, I got contacts. I know, weird. It's only because I got this weird rash thing from glasses. Which was annoying. It's quite freaky, sticking your finger in your eye to get it in... I'm fairly proud of meself actually, cos I managed to get the contacts in within 3o minutes. :) On the third day though...

2 b'days during holidays. What pressies to get?

Cherrycookie

I think I think too much

The LAST day of Term 3 of Year 8 of 2009 of PLC in Melbourne is OVER!!!!!!!!!!!! It will never come again. Let us spend a few moments reflecting. Ok, ew, we do enof reflecting in school. haha. I promised I would post more often (at least I think I promised...), and I will try really hard to keep that promise which i might and might not have made. I will get serious now. I'm sort of hoping Isabel won't read this because she'll probs think I'm silly, which she often does already... But she probs will still read it... Oh well, I guess I won't mind that much. I'm only singling her out cos I think she's the only one who actually reads this. So, have you ever felt like excluded? Well, no, that's no the word. This is hard to explain. I don't know if people can see it, but I try unbelievably hard to become someone likable. Someone who is lovable and easy to talk to, fun to be with, loyal, un-annoying etc. Someone with a strong character and an interesting personality. Someone who made a difference to people. Like a good Christian, I guess... Or like the people in movies. I keep shaping myself to be that 'perfect' person, but somehow, it doesn't work. I know I'm probably thinking too much, but somehow, I'm not and will never be 'totally' part of the friendship group I'm in now. I've told Bell this once, in Math, and she brushed it off, and saying I had this in common and blablabla. I believed her at that time, but I just don't know. All my friends are awesome and they're really nice and stuff but well... somehow, I don't fit perfectly. I get really scared sometimes that people won't care if I left. See, there's Jess and Vic, who are besties and have been friends since forever, and have heaps of memories together. Then there's Mango, Isabel and Viv. Glendol people. Viv and Isabel always seem really close, and they like whisper to each other during lunch. Kate's always talking to Isabel too. Okay, I'll admit it, I'm jealous. Just a little. And somehow Jess also talks to Isabel and Viv and they have they're own conversations. I don't know what about. Still slightly jealous. I kno I'm being silly, but still. It's not my fault I feel this way, is it? Will I ever actually feel like I belong though? I did in Malaysia... But I was younger then. Ugh, I wish I was a little girl again. Life was less complicated. I think I think too much Tommy Tim Tan

Not Immature, just not mature yet

Awwwww, Peter Pan is OVER. I'm 1/4 happy and 3/4 sad. I'm happy cos I don't have to spend EVERY SINGLE second of my life rehearsing and sumtimes, not even rehearsing, but watching others rehearse. And I'm also happy cos I don't need to get my hair teased anymore!!!! BUT the sad things are that I'm never gonna experience it again. All the fun and excitement! But I got to know more people I guess. But STILL. And then there was that after party... Never been to anything like it. I mean srsly. I thought we would just go to that guy Chris's house and play like, well, Wii or dance mat or cards or sumthing. It's what we do at all the other parties I go to. Sorta. Besides, there were gonna be parents, right? Anyway, we went to Chris's house at about 11pm or so. When we got there, I had like heaps and heaps of chips and party pies and sausage rolls. hahaha. (trust me to turn the subject into food) Anyway, we went outta the house and got to the pool. Then the guys took off their shirts and jumped in. I was like 'omg, ur kidding right?' It was freezing enof without getting wet... At first, I didn't think any of the girl would jump in. I mean, we're reasonable right? But no. I was wrong. Fiona stripped and jumped in in front of everyone. That set up and example for the other girls and they jumped in too. With clothes on though. I was just shocked, frankly. I've never been to, what my dad called it, 'Australian Party'. And now, there's all this drama with the Scotch guys and PLC girls. Drama which I hear, but am not a part of. Which is a good thing. I think. I guess I just haven't matured that way. I mean, I'm not totally 'ew guys' anymore. Ok, I am a little. But not as much as I used to. I actually have a few guy friends. Not close ones, but friends nonetheless. But I'm no where near the 'OMG BOYS!' stage where ppl get boyfriends and stuff. I find that really... well.... weird. It's interesting to hear, but I can't imagine myself there. Oh well... Still a little girl I guess... Cherrycookie

Looking back?

So, I know I haven't posted anything for like months, but I've been busy. And I still am. Btw, this post down here is really umm... late. It was typed like months ago. Just to let you know. I will try to get into the habit of blogging more. I will probs do so after August. I have a lot going on. A Peter Pan play, a Dance Concert, a Japanese Competition, a friend's b'day, a lot of homework due, a heap of tests and other things as well. Hoping you understand... Here we go. Nostalgia. I learnt exactly what that meant a few days ago. The day we just moved actually, in the car. Tessa told me. I always saw the word in books and stuff, but I just assumed that it meant depressed or something. Lol. So Tess told me it meant the longing of being in the past. Or at least something like that. Anyway, I realized that that was the feeling I felt just that morning before, the first morning I woke up at the new house. Funny, I always feel nostalgic in the morning. As I lay in bed, staring into space, I felt a wave of nostalgia wash over me. The longing to be back in my big, homey, comfy, familiar house in Malaysia, waking to the sound of my little brother watching Ben 10 on a Saturday. Then, the feeling of walking to the market (Pasar Pagi) with my family and buying all these yummy foods to eat for breakfast. Or even further back, having lunch at Po Po’s house before school. Ah Ai would cook me a simple but delicious meal like rice and steamed chicken drumstick. I even miss school! When I’d have to wake up at about 6am in the morning and put on my old school uniform. Yes, I miss a whole lot. But, I guess looking into the past won't really help me now, would it? Cos even if I do go back home to Malaysia, which I did, and I will, things will never be the same again. I might be able to go to Pasar Malam again and eat Malaysian food and see some of my friends and family, but I will always be apart. The year I lived in Australia makes a big diff. I've missed out a lot back in Malaysia. Not that I'm complaining about coming here, but I have to have some regrets, right? Life back home was so much less complicating and I didn't think and worry about stuff so much. Or maybe I've just grown up? Nah. But sometimes, you just can't help it, can you? Gotta stop looking back and start looking forward. Gotta make things less complicated and take life one day at a time. Gotta just let some things take care of themselves. Tommy Tim Tan

Types of Year 8s?

Hey,

It's really weird how people of the same age, can vary soo much and be so different.

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Look at some of the girls in my class, they are oh-so mature looking and I don't know, they seem so much older than they really are. Seriously, act your age! But then, they're the popular ones. Go figure.

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Then there are those girls who want to be mature and cool, but aren't. They just aren't that type of people. But they try so hard to get there. All for what? Nothing really.

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People who are just ordinary people. People who crowd around the popular ones. Obviously you need listeners to be popular.

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And of course there are those who don't care. Those who I think are the most happy. Cos there's no pressure to be like anyone and you can just be you. But there is always a part of you who wonders what it would be like to be one of 'them'. That's the category I fit in.

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Me and my friends. No, my friends and I are just fine. I'm happy where I am with a tight circle of friends who, I'm hoping, will be there for me. No drama, or pressure.

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Just me being me. At least, most of me, most of the time

Cherrycookie

Yeap

Ello, I have not posted in sooooooo long. Like srsly. I need to be more disciplined... Sigh. But then, I can always blame it on school. We have had the worst week in the history of worst weeks. We had like 8 tests and oh sooo many major assignments due. AND there's been this Swine Flu attack thing. It's gotten to like every school except PLC. Well, almost every school. Scotch has it and Melbourne Grammar has it I think. But all of us wanted PLC to get it. lol. Cos then we would close down and we wouldn't have to go through all those horrible tests... But it's over now! And it's a long weekend, so that's okay. And I;m gonna start blogging more again. Really actually try. So, yea. Oh no! Swine Flu! Tommy