Not Immature, just not mature yet

Awwwww, Peter Pan is OVER. I'm 1/4 happy and 3/4 sad. I'm happy cos I don't have to spend EVERY SINGLE second of my life rehearsing and sumtimes, not even rehearsing, but watching others rehearse. And I'm also happy cos I don't need to get my hair teased anymore!!!! BUT the sad things are that I'm never gonna experience it again. All the fun and excitement! But I got to know more people I guess. But STILL. And then there was that after party... Never been to anything like it. I mean srsly. I thought we would just go to that guy Chris's house and play like, well, Wii or dance mat or cards or sumthing. It's what we do at all the other parties I go to. Sorta. Besides, there were gonna be parents, right? Anyway, we went to Chris's house at about 11pm or so. When we got there, I had like heaps and heaps of chips and party pies and sausage rolls. hahaha. (trust me to turn the subject into food) Anyway, we went outta the house and got to the pool. Then the guys took off their shirts and jumped in. I was like 'omg, ur kidding right?' It was freezing enof without getting wet... At first, I didn't think any of the girl would jump in. I mean, we're reasonable right? But no. I was wrong. Fiona stripped and jumped in in front of everyone. That set up and example for the other girls and they jumped in too. With clothes on though. I was just shocked, frankly. I've never been to, what my dad called it, 'Australian Party'. And now, there's all this drama with the Scotch guys and PLC girls. Drama which I hear, but am not a part of. Which is a good thing. I think. I guess I just haven't matured that way. I mean, I'm not totally 'ew guys' anymore. Ok, I am a little. But not as much as I used to. I actually have a few guy friends. Not close ones, but friends nonetheless. But I'm no where near the 'OMG BOYS!' stage where ppl get boyfriends and stuff. I find that really... well.... weird. It's interesting to hear, but I can't imagine myself there. Oh well... Still a little girl I guess... Cherrycookie

Looking back?

So, I know I haven't posted anything for like months, but I've been busy. And I still am. Btw, this post down here is really umm... late. It was typed like months ago. Just to let you know. I will try to get into the habit of blogging more. I will probs do so after August. I have a lot going on. A Peter Pan play, a Dance Concert, a Japanese Competition, a friend's b'day, a lot of homework due, a heap of tests and other things as well. Hoping you understand... Here we go. Nostalgia. I learnt exactly what that meant a few days ago. The day we just moved actually, in the car. Tessa told me. I always saw the word in books and stuff, but I just assumed that it meant depressed or something. Lol. So Tess told me it meant the longing of being in the past. Or at least something like that. Anyway, I realized that that was the feeling I felt just that morning before, the first morning I woke up at the new house. Funny, I always feel nostalgic in the morning. As I lay in bed, staring into space, I felt a wave of nostalgia wash over me. The longing to be back in my big, homey, comfy, familiar house in Malaysia, waking to the sound of my little brother watching Ben 10 on a Saturday. Then, the feeling of walking to the market (Pasar Pagi) with my family and buying all these yummy foods to eat for breakfast. Or even further back, having lunch at Po Po’s house before school. Ah Ai would cook me a simple but delicious meal like rice and steamed chicken drumstick. I even miss school! When I’d have to wake up at about 6am in the morning and put on my old school uniform. Yes, I miss a whole lot. But, I guess looking into the past won't really help me now, would it? Cos even if I do go back home to Malaysia, which I did, and I will, things will never be the same again. I might be able to go to Pasar Malam again and eat Malaysian food and see some of my friends and family, but I will always be apart. The year I lived in Australia makes a big diff. I've missed out a lot back in Malaysia. Not that I'm complaining about coming here, but I have to have some regrets, right? Life back home was so much less complicating and I didn't think and worry about stuff so much. Or maybe I've just grown up? Nah. But sometimes, you just can't help it, can you? Gotta stop looking back and start looking forward. Gotta make things less complicated and take life one day at a time. Gotta just let some things take care of themselves. Tommy Tim Tan