Can't think of one

I feel like freaking punching something right now. ARGH. Can you please just shut up. I've become SOO freaking close to swearing these days. And that's against my very being. And guess why? Sick of it. So sick of it that I can't even put it into words. It was such a good day too. It's all getting way to old. A concentrated whirl of anger.

Blah. Yeah, that sums out how I'm feeling.

Okay, So I'm in a bit of a... Mood right now. Suffice to say I'm not happy but I shall try to blog about something happy so I'll forget about it. Er. Hm. Um. I can't think of anything right now. Argh. Okay. How about. My week. Okay. So have I told you my class (9G) won the Year 9 Singing Competition? Well, along with 9H. Bahaha. Vicky's class. Anyway, so we have to perform Imagine during assembly. I think it was the sign language that got us to win. Personally, I thought we were just average and slightly off tune. But who's complaining? We got heaps (like 3) of chocolates from it. :D From Catherine, Madam Ning, and as a reward for winning. Next, um. um. um. Oh, we had Community Action again. Same thing. Sand box, then inside. Oh and we missed the bus again. JUST this time. So we walked. Go on www.studywiz.plc.vic.edu.au blog thingo if you wanna read more. It's nothing much though. Erm. OH, we had to go to this family Psychologist appointment thing. Yay because it was the day Tess got discharged. But I don't really want to talk about it. The day. Just that it ended nice enough I guess. :) <<<> Battery's running out. Drained and weary, Erica.

20th August 2010 (Thursday)

Today, I woke up and ate cereal and toast with avocados. Then, I went to school early for flute group. Hmm.. The rest of classes were just. Average and normal. At recess though, Crystal gave me a dumpling, and then brownie from Rochelle (cos we did awesomely in the singing competition. not really.) and then some pizza scroll from Viv because she was being generous. :D thx viv. But the highlight really was lunchtime. I was supposed to go to Art but Ms Snell wasn't there so I cbs. I've already wasted like 3 of my precious lunchtimes doing art. And I have to do it again tmrw. Gah. Anyway, I was eating lunch with my friends. Which is usually fun enough. We talk about the randomest things. BUT, after buying a packet of chips (not me. Jessie), we decided to go for a walk. We went to the area we used to spend our year 7 lunchtimes. And played the balancing game on this wood bit jutting out. Like a mini fence. Anyway, we took turns going the whole way while the others went crazy screaming and jumping up and down trying to get the person balancing to fall off. I love how we all still have that bit of kid inside. I kinda feel sorry for all those who grew up so fast and don't have a chance to do all this because they're too busy with how they look etc. After school, and Melba, Mum drove me to Mt waverley village so I could interview people for a Geography project. I managed to get 2 people, but others just shooed me off or said they were busy. I got a little intimidated after a while, and gave up... People can be very intimidating even though they don't mean it. So I made myself a promise, if, when I'm old/older, and a young girl comes with some survey for school, I'll put on a big smile and answer as well as I can even though I'm in a bad mood or whtever. Smiling at a good-ish day. Interesting. Erica

Not sure what to think

Hi, I'm just. Shocked. In utter disbelief. I didn't know it was so serious. I don't even know what to think. I never saw it as a reality. The hospital. That's. I don't know. But if it'll help her get better, then I guess that's a good thing. All those calls from random people who are trying to give support or help or care or whatever. Aunty Vanny picking me up from school, asking me if I'm okay. It's all just freaking me out. It's really weird. Mum's okay. I hope. I didn't know whether to ask if she was okay or to just carry on as normal. I did both. All I can do is offer whatever help I can. Help pack her stuff. I thought I liked being home alone. I don't. Just the usual footsteps around the house and the sound of activity. A sound I usually don't notice. Neglect even. How is she going to survive? I hope she's okay. I'm getting Grey's Anatomy for her. It's all I can think of. Mum said no internet, or fb or phone. Idk. Doesn't feel like my life. Feels like everything's in slow motion. Like watching a movie. That's right. It feels like it's all scripted and well. Movie-like. Unreal. Trying to get my head around it all. It'll all go back to normal soon, right? Confused, Me.

A Day in the Life of ME

See, Told you so. About the sudden BAM of crazy posting. Okay, 3 isn't that many. But still. Today, we had a Leadership voting thing replacing form assembly. We had to vote. I only knew 3 people on the Year 11 girls' list. So, I figured I would vote for Tess. Because I think she would be a good one. And it would be so cool! I could like, be like, okay, if you organize a free sausage sizzle/pancake day, I'll do the dishes tomorrow. Then, we had PE. Bec and I are Captains of our soccer team (Bout 7 ppl..) I got chosen because I'm in a soccer team. But it's kinda silly, because I'm pretty much the worst one on the team. Oh well. Anyway, we just did random drills. Fun. I got mud all over me. :D Oooh, Lunch. Often the highlight of my day. I had a yummy croissant sandwich. I went to the library (dragging Jessie, yes we do that a lot. Drag people to places) and printed my GEOGRAPHY hw. Then, Jessie made me watch the Asylum 626 trailer. She turned faced the computer toward me and got me to commentate on what was happening. So she would know, without having to go through the mental trauma. OMGSH! It was scaaary. And soundless. Imagine how much worse it would be if it had sound... I only watched like bits of it, cos I kept chickening out and turning away. baha. Once, I turned my head, and Jessie PUSHED IT BACK. omgsh. so mean. IF I GET NIGHTMARES TODAY IT IS JESSIE'S FAULT! BUT, I'm looking forward to doing the actual game at Jessie's b'day. At the end of school, our usual walking home routine got muddled a little. Here's what happened: 1. Vicky dragged me to music. (told you we do that heaps) 2. Ran to Jessie's locker. Did not find her. 3. Ran to my locker. Passed Myura who told me Jessie and stuff was waiting at my locker. 4. Saw no one at locker. cbs. Decided to walk alone. 5. Mobile rang. It was Isabel. They were at my locker... 6. Meet after buses, in front of PE centre. Laughs. 7. Walk to Parer Street as per usual. 8. See my car. Isabel's car is behind. Decide to drive alongside each other. 9. Plan failed. Mum was busy talking and I was like gogogo. But no. Isabel's car was already 2 cars ahead... 10. Mobile rings. Probs Isabel. Mobile is in my schoolbag in the boot. 11. Slaps head and mentally says sorry to Isabel. Hahaha. My life is average. Not. It's awesome. :) Really good bits and really bad bits. I guess they evened out? o.o Listening to Jonathan playing maplestory. He's in Perion, I think. Judging by the music. Erica

Life's been. idk. Crazy.

So, Life's been idk. Crazy. I guess. I'd start my day with arguments, screaming, emotional breakdowns etc. Then, I'd go to school. Kinda... Not my usual cheery self, but determined to keep that HAPPY demeanour. And I can, but it saps extra energy. Then, I'd blurt a couple of words (with a perfectly straight, unemotional face and tone) to a friend. A good one. Or a few. And they'd give a couple of words of comfort. Or make me smile at something. Kate insulted me. It worked. -.- haha. The day would then proceed with higher spirits. I would be able to laugh and smile genuinely. You guys might not know it, but you're pretty great. I might not say it often, but I do mean it. Next, I would go home. And perhaps go through another burst of frustration at dinner time. Idk. Sometimes, I know you're trying. Other times, I don't see why the heck it's so hard. Sorry I don't understand what you're going through, but then, you don't know what I'm going through either. I'm sorry. I know I can be really harsh. and mean. and cold. and resentful. and thoughtless. But it's that, or tears. Which I'm avoiding. I cry so easily these days.. But I do care. I'm just not god at showing it. Frustration, anger, worry, jealousy. I don't know what's what anymore. Huh. And my OurSpace teacher told me that good posts are short and simple. Really should be Geography-ing. Tommy

The lame, but honest excuse

Hm,

I seem to blog in bursts. I'll not post for a really long time, and then suddenly, BAM, postpostpostpostpost. And then stop. Okay, so I'm exaggerating a little.

Anyway, today, (bahaha, it rhymes). Hm, actually, lemme start from the beginning. I had this major 1000+ word Geography report due today. I had done Qns 1-3, btw, that's a lot, and I was gonna do the rest over the weekend. On Saturday, I couldn't find my USB. And I figured that it was at school. So I thought I'd do Qns 4-5 plus the intro, conclusion etc. And then tie it together today lunchtime. This plan was perfect, except for the fact that... I couldn't find my USB. Instead, in the lost USB box thing, I found... my OLD usb. huh. bummerrr. So now, I'm redoing it all. At least Ms Thompson didn't kill me.

Should be doing Geography,

Erica