Guide to Self Realization. not

You see, Yesterday, I went with my parents to pick up my flute. Yes, I'm GETTING A NEW FLUTE! Well, since it was yesterday, I technically already got it. So it's past tense. Anyway, as usual, I was kinda doubtful because a flute costs like $1,000!!! Do you know how much that is??? Okay, so my parents go on and on about us not worrying about money. It's their problem. Blah Blah Blah. But still, we can't help it can't we? About RM3 (msian money) Malaysian is ONLY about $1 Aussie. I wouldn't care about that if Dad was working in Australia, but he's not. He will be, but he's not. Oh well. So, Mum wanted me to try out the flute, to see if I liked it. And you know what? I was NERVOUS. NERVOUS. HOW CAN I BE NERVOUS about trying out a FLUTE in a FLUTE SHOP!! Well, in my defence, the music shop people were there and they're strangers. BUT STILL. How dumb is that? I mean, it's not like they're gonna laugh at me if I play the flute horribly. I'm a BEGINNER for goodness sake. In the end, I picked up the flute and played a wobbly 'Jingle Bells'. Bad choice of song, but it's not like I have a whole lot to choose from. I WILL become as good as that girl who played flute during Speech Night. I have decided to make a promise to myself. I will continue flute until Year 12, or at least 11 so I that a) I don't waste the money used to pay for flute lessons b) I don't waste my time and c) I don't waste my 1,000 dollars on the shiny new flute. And it won't go on the list of the many things I've given up. Which, believe me, I'm not proud of. Piano (I will pick it up again and practise the songs I like and learn to sight read better), Ballet (I regret this, but I picked up Contemporary, Jazz dancing instead, which I WON'T quit no matter what) etc. This post was mainly to put in black and white my promise to continue flute and to remind me that I need to find a way to not think so badly of myself (which I do a lot) without making me some egotistical narcissist. Tommy Tim Tan