Life's been. idk. Crazy.

So, Life's been idk. Crazy. I guess. I'd start my day with arguments, screaming, emotional breakdowns etc. Then, I'd go to school. Kinda... Not my usual cheery self, but determined to keep that HAPPY demeanour. And I can, but it saps extra energy. Then, I'd blurt a couple of words (with a perfectly straight, unemotional face and tone) to a friend. A good one. Or a few. And they'd give a couple of words of comfort. Or make me smile at something. Kate insulted me. It worked. -.- haha. The day would then proceed with higher spirits. I would be able to laugh and smile genuinely. You guys might not know it, but you're pretty great. I might not say it often, but I do mean it. Next, I would go home. And perhaps go through another burst of frustration at dinner time. Idk. Sometimes, I know you're trying. Other times, I don't see why the heck it's so hard. Sorry I don't understand what you're going through, but then, you don't know what I'm going through either. I'm sorry. I know I can be really harsh. and mean. and cold. and resentful. and thoughtless. But it's that, or tears. Which I'm avoiding. I cry so easily these days.. But I do care. I'm just not god at showing it. Frustration, anger, worry, jealousy. I don't know what's what anymore. Huh. And my OurSpace teacher told me that good posts are short and simple. Really should be Geography-ing. Tommy

The lame, but honest excuse

Hm,

I seem to blog in bursts. I'll not post for a really long time, and then suddenly, BAM, postpostpostpostpost. And then stop. Okay, so I'm exaggerating a little.

Anyway, today, (bahaha, it rhymes). Hm, actually, lemme start from the beginning. I had this major 1000+ word Geography report due today. I had done Qns 1-3, btw, that's a lot, and I was gonna do the rest over the weekend. On Saturday, I couldn't find my USB. And I figured that it was at school. So I thought I'd do Qns 4-5 plus the intro, conclusion etc. And then tie it together today lunchtime. This plan was perfect, except for the fact that... I couldn't find my USB. Instead, in the lost USB box thing, I found... my OLD usb. huh. bummerrr. So now, I'm redoing it all. At least Ms Thompson didn't kill me.

Should be doing Geography,

Erica

Life Update xP

Here is, Just a silly moment in my life. A moment that happened quite a while ago, but yeah... Idk, I just thought of it. Me: Did you guys have school yesterday (as in friday)? *Hoping to rub it in that I didn't* Michelle: Um. No... *Looking at me weirdly* Me: Oh really?? Dang... Michelle: It was Saturday. *smirking* Me: *slaps forhead* omgsh... Whoops... No soccer practice today. Dunno why. But I'm glad. Wasn't really looking forward to it. lol. Too cold today... First Design class today. It's the only class I have with Isabel. It was fuun. I kinda miss our Maths lessons from last year a little. Yo-ing on the books, as annoying as it was, was fun. lol. Reading The Time Traveler's Wife. After finishing Rowan of Rin, Queen of Babble and the second book of Airhead. Okay. Just telling you about the random bits of my currently not so interesting life. teehee. Wondering, TimTan

Erica the Perfectionist?

So,

Uncle Ben said I was a 'perfectionist'.

Me: Um... Really? How do you know? (Not sure if I should take it as a compliment or insult or comment) Uncle Ben: Well, from what your mum tells me about you and how I've seen you act. Me: ... Uncle Ben: (Probably seeing the look on my face) Oh, don't worry. I was one too, when I was young. Me: Really? Okay... But what do you mean by 'perfectionist'? Uncle Ben: Well, you go to sleep on time, you eat at the right time, you do well at school. Me: Okay... Uncle Ben: Well, my mother's friends used to ask her how she did it. Because I did what I was told and came top of my class. And my mum used to say that she didn't have to do anything. I was just born that way. Me: Oh. Okay... -End of Conversation-

Btw, it's not totally accurate because it was like a week ago and my memory is failing me. It was at night. And I was tired... But anyway, it's sort of pretty much what happened. Am I perfectionist? Idk. Maybe? But for some reason, I don't particularly want to be known as the perfectionist. I don't like the idea... Erica the perfectionist just doesn't cut it for me.

I was going to continue with another thought, but I reckon that's enough. For today. Besides, I have school tomorrow.

After an activity packed 1 1/2 weeks with family, then a few days of lazing around at home doing absolutely nothing, maybe school might not be so bad for me.

Did I just say that?!

Well, I'll see my friends. :)

Feeling... Quite neutral.

Erica

Holiday Life

Here, Is a summary of Sydney. Well mostly. Bits about just holidays too. Because well. It was fun and I wanna remember it for future reference. LOL. I said future reference. Okay. So. Narrating mode. We went to Sydney with Aunty Ching and her family. Nick and Adrian both have Scottish accents. Sooo cool. And Adrian is the MOST adorable 4 year old. EVER. Awww. I loved spending time with him. He makes the cutest comments and it makes it even cuter in his accent. lol. Okay. I'm gushing. But I would be like holding his hand and he would be like 'You're mine!' AWWW. Right. Enough with the gushing. lol. When my cousins first came over, we went to... Melbourne Museum. Yesh, it was my first time. And it was actually quite interesting. But we didn't get to spend long there. Because we were going for yum cha. Yummy. :P Then, Sydney! Tess, Jon and I stayed at Ee Ee's place. And everyone else stayed at the hotel. lol. ah well. We went to the Sydney Opera House. Which is massive. Wayyy bigger than it is in all those photos. And the Sydney Harbor Bridge was pretty nice too. We also went to Manly Beach. And had ice-cream. We had ice-cream a lot. And oooh. We went to heaps of yummy food places. This korean place, where you had to take a number because there were so many people. And you had to wait like 1 hour. And if you missed your number, you got a new one... -.- And the thai restaurant was yummy too. And we went to Burke Street Bakery. The tarts were alright. Except for the Strawberry Brulee Tart, which was deeelicious. And we got this fig sourdough bread thing. Which was meh. Okay, enough about food. I'm sparing you Isabel. I could go on forever. xD And we went to the Sydney Zoo. Which was fun. But SO no worth the money. It was really really expensive. I guess that's enough about the holiday. Not happy it's over though. Erica

Desperate for normal

Okay, So I haven't posted in a while. I dunno. I've just been really lazy and busy and just. Yeah. Just a quick update, the holidays are ending, I've gone to Sydney and back, I've watched Toy Story 3 (which was really great, honestly), seen Shrek 4 (it was better than I thought) and... I've also been sucked into this whirlpool of frustration and anger and just. Ugh. And when I tried pulling myself out, I just couldn't. I was drowning in it. Almost every thought in my head was dragged to this. You made dread what would normally have been the favourite part of my day. And then you ask me to forgive. And I did. But then you would just do it again. and again. and again. Sorry means you stop. Do you not see what it's doing to everyone? We've all cried a billion tears on it. It's like an obsession. Starting with you, and then the rest of us are just sucked in. It's just freaking food. Sorry if I'm being really harsh, but I honestly. Just. UGH. Why can't you just LET IT GO. And while your at it, leave me out of it. It has nothing to DO with me. Because I'm not the one with the problem. But seriously, I think I'm going to have the exact problem too soon. At least just open your eyes and see that you've been blinded by your own mind. Can't you just freaking LISTEN? They know what's best for you. They want what's best for you. Stop being so freaking stubborn. Please. I'm begging you. PLEASE. I'm scared. Worried. Whatever you want to call it. And it's scaring me even more when I see how scared and worried mum and dad are. Yeah, I'm being very vague. Not going into specifics. Idk. I'm sorry. I just really needed to vent this anger somewhere. Or else I'll just be bottling it up and I think I'll regret that later on. Sigh. Well, I think I've gotten out of the whirlpool. Or at least close. But it's either I ignore it all. Everything. Or I'll get pulled in again. Idk. I still don't get it. What happened?

No idea how this post took this path. I wanted to post this. But well. Yeah. I wasn't going to. It just happened. o.o Confused, frustrated. Wishing for the nightmare to end. Me.

Over the Long Weekend

So, Over the long weekend, which was quite a while ago, (yes, I have been neglecting blogging), I was fully booked. Friday, was fuun. Went to Chaddie with Viv, Isabel, Kate, Nicole, Jessie and Vicky. It was Viv's b'day!! yay! And I baked her a marble cake. Even though she said she didn't want one. Well, too bad. xD Isabel wanted it anyway. We were going to watch S** in the City or Get Him to the Greek. Which were both MA15+ movies. I had no idea we were gonna watch them and I reeeeallly didn't want to have to lie. And I even more really did not want to watch Get Him to the Greek. Especially after what Isabel and Nicole were telling me about it... Thanks guys... lol. In the end, I was HAPPY cos we watched Shrek. Not that bad actually. :) Saturday was busy as usual. Chinese school, then church. Sunday was the Sim's house warming. Curry, lasagna, pasta, pizza. Jusst the usual yummy food. There was reeeaallly yummy apple pie. ;) Then, we played soccer for like 3 hours. I know, omgsh. I didn't even notice that we played so long. But it was SOO muddy and I got mud everywhere. You could literally see the different colour near my ankles. Kinda like camp actually. Monday was Jason's B'day. It started alright. But um... I think James pushed a wrong button an Jas got really angry and it was all just... I mean, what do you do when someone's so angry that they don't listen to comfort? Hmm.. I made egg tarts too. Just an update. Nothing much. o.o Erica