Desperate for normal

Okay, So I haven't posted in a while. I dunno. I've just been really lazy and busy and just. Yeah. Just a quick update, the holidays are ending, I've gone to Sydney and back, I've watched Toy Story 3 (which was really great, honestly), seen Shrek 4 (it was better than I thought) and... I've also been sucked into this whirlpool of frustration and anger and just. Ugh. And when I tried pulling myself out, I just couldn't. I was drowning in it. Almost every thought in my head was dragged to this. You made dread what would normally have been the favourite part of my day. And then you ask me to forgive. And I did. But then you would just do it again. and again. and again. Sorry means you stop. Do you not see what it's doing to everyone? We've all cried a billion tears on it. It's like an obsession. Starting with you, and then the rest of us are just sucked in. It's just freaking food. Sorry if I'm being really harsh, but I honestly. Just. UGH. Why can't you just LET IT GO. And while your at it, leave me out of it. It has nothing to DO with me. Because I'm not the one with the problem. But seriously, I think I'm going to have the exact problem too soon. At least just open your eyes and see that you've been blinded by your own mind. Can't you just freaking LISTEN? They know what's best for you. They want what's best for you. Stop being so freaking stubborn. Please. I'm begging you. PLEASE. I'm scared. Worried. Whatever you want to call it. And it's scaring me even more when I see how scared and worried mum and dad are. Yeah, I'm being very vague. Not going into specifics. Idk. I'm sorry. I just really needed to vent this anger somewhere. Or else I'll just be bottling it up and I think I'll regret that later on. Sigh. Well, I think I've gotten out of the whirlpool. Or at least close. But it's either I ignore it all. Everything. Or I'll get pulled in again. Idk. I still don't get it. What happened?

No idea how this post took this path. I wanted to post this. But well. Yeah. I wasn't going to. It just happened. o.o Confused, frustrated. Wishing for the nightmare to end. Me.