Ok. Fine.
So I’m selfish. A freaking selfish little brat who thinks about no one but herself and what she herself is going through. Me me me me mememememememeME.
Ugh. MY thoughts. MY feelings. MY problems. But what do you expect me to do? Huh? I’m not God okay. I’m not perfect. I have flaws. Endless flaws.
And now my sister wouldn’t even care if I died. Oh but then that’s about me too. The world seems to revolve around me these days.
Oh and funny how not too long ago, that same sister was jealous because she thought I was perfect. Popular. Pretty. No wait. That makes sense. Of course she would want me dead. Sad thing is, none of the things she was jealous of were true. All just twisted because of her own low self esteem of herself.
She thinks no one cares too. That’s probably part of it. The self esteem thing, I mean. Gosh, how ironic. I was always the one that was jealous of her. She has always been and still is the pretty one. The one with a best best best friend forever as well as many others. And the one that was always oh-so happy.
This family is so stuffed up it isn’t even funny. Everyone’s going crazy. But then it’ll all be fine again tomorrow morning. Only to repeat itself.
The screaming. The fighting. You know, it’s always been only verbal fighting. But I guess not anymore. What happened to the happy people in those photos of us in Malaysia? The photos we were looking at just, huh, a few hours ago. So much can change in a mere 3 hours.
Trying not to think it, but I can’t help it.
What would happen if I really died? I really want to know. Would it even make a difference?
Oh it’s hilarious. You should see me when I’m bawling my eyes out. My nose goes extremely pink.
With an extremely pink nose, Erica
Btw, this was last night.
3 thoughts:
sigh. family issues sure have a way of getting people down. and they are always made into something so complicated that everyone loses sight of what they are actually fighting about, and everyone starts picking each other apart. at the end of the day, you have to think of yourself as your best friend and to not let anyone's abuse affect you. things can be said in the heat of the moment.
if you die, i'd fly over to Aussie for the funeral. Seriously. I'd feel so guilty that i hadn't spent the last few months with you.
family arguments don't last forever. Just takes time to sort everything out. Give her a chance to calm down first, and i think you should know that she will mind if you die. Don't bring yourself down.
See you in Malaysia :)
hm. yeah. you guys give good advice. :) thanks.
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