Fairness?

Life, Is not fair. Think about it. I have so many reasons to base this statement on. Here's one of them. The horribly unfortunate fact that the person who cares less holds the power in a relationship. How unfair is that? The other who doesn't care as much has the power to do whatever because they know the... Okay this is too confusing. Let me start again. Let's say A is the person who cares more and B is the one who cares less. By the way, this is all hypothetical. A has the power to do whatever they want because they know B will do anything for them. B is vulnerable to being taken advantage of and the worse thing is, they know it and don't care. I repeat, how unfair is that? Blah, Me.

Sorry.

Sorry. That was too much. I went overboard. I was angry, frustrated, mad. But you have to admit that I have valid points. Sometimes I wish everyone could just read everyone'e mind. No lies. no secrets. no misunderstandings.

freak. freak. freak. freak. freak. freak. freak. WHAT IS YOUR FREAKING PROBLEM?!?!?! OVER A FREAKING PIECE OF FREAKING TOFU YOU MADE FREAKING MUM CRY. just think about what you just did. THINK ABOUT IT. what happened to you? seriously. SERIOUSLY? THE WORLD DOESN'T FREAKING REVOLVE AROUND YOU! everything is everyone else's fault. everything is against you. WAKE FREAKING UP AND SEE WHAT THE FREAK HAS HAPPENED TO YOU. Your just tearing apart the WHOLE freaking family all because you want to FREAKING STAY SKINNY. WHAT IS YOUR FREAKING PROBLEM?! can you not see what your doing to everyone? AND EATING WITH THE NURSE? gosh seriously. SERIOUSLY? can't you see how childish you're being? making such a big deal out of NOTHING? and is your mind so distorted that you can't even see that if you just. just acted normal. got over it. didn't make is such a big fuss. didn't get so emotional about something so trivial. that maybe, oh i don't know, they would see that you were NORMAL again and you wouldn't have to do it anymore? or at least see that it's not in their power to do it. it's the freaking school. they want to kick you out if you don't eat with the nurse? guess what? they can do it. so get freaking over it. and think about it. logically it's not that bad, eating with the nurse. you just cram it all down your throat and then you can go do whatever you want with your friends. obviously the problem is somewhere else. you go figure out what the problem is. your smart. or at least you used to be.

Sundayy.

Yesterday, Was interesting. Firstly, we went to Mum's aunt's birthday lunch at Gold Leaf (Yum Cha). Yum. :D Then, to Harry's house. And we played a game that was kinda like Taboo. It was. Well, we're kinda the second cousins so we don't know them as well. Slightly out of it and awkward, but bearable. And omgsh. CAKE. Flourless chocolate, white choc raspberry mud and cheesecake. Yes 3 cakes. Oh then I went the the ROAR 56ers get-together. It was funner (is that a word?) and less awkward than I expected! I think it was partly because Eugena wasn't there. I'm not saying anything bad about her. But she intimidates me. Because she's clique-y, I think. Clique-y people and me just don't go together. Btw, it was bowling at the Glen. I learnt that... I am actually really bad at bowling. The ball went into the gutters the first 2 times. And more... Albert and Joy attempted to teach me. It helped! But... Yeah, bowling, not my thing. BUT it was still fun. Albert kept reminding me to roll STRAIGHT. The obvious thing to do, but it is actually hard. And we exchanged gifts. :D I got a paper rose with a MINI BIBLE. OMGSH! It was SOO CUTE! And that's it. Erica

Irrational Beings

You know, It’s funny. Us human beings. We are kinda horrible.

Say someone is negative. It’s just who that person is. We judge them and call them depressing, or boring. Then if they try to change who they are just to please everyone, we judge them yet again. We say that they should just be who they really are and not pretend all the time because it’s pretty much like lying. How ridiculous is that?

Btw, that was a hypothetical situation.

Another one, we’re wired to want to belong. We do whatever it takes for even a moment of belonging. at home. at school. amongst friends. Constantly moulding ourselves so we can fit into whatever it is we want to fit into. Until eventually, we don’t even know what happened to our true selves. In a sense, we become who we wanted to be. But we’re STILL not happy. Because ee want to just be and belong and not have to change to belong.

Okay. I’m rambling.

Point of post? Human’s are irrational beings. Me.

City Outlook

So, I just wanted to start with that quote. Anyways, I'm starting to get a teeny bit sick of the city. All the walking. And I'm hungry more. o.o Urban Seed was. Though provoking. About homelessness, drug addicts and what the church is doing about it. Oh, I walked into a pole yesterday. Oh, and Belgian waffles are da bomb. Oh, interesting event: Jessie reeeally needed to go to the toilet. We asked a nearby guy in a cafe. He looked slightly creepy looking and had an accent. He said, 'Go down past the coffee shop and you'll see a black door. The code is **** (I can't remember it).' We're like. Okay... So we walked and we saw a black door with unauthorised access prohibited. It look aged and kinda scary. Jessie typed in the code. It was a stairway going downwards into who knows where. Like those in horror movies. Just before some girl screams, "DON'T GO IN THERE!" So, we... Didn't go in. Hehe. It was probably just some staff toilet. But still, we'll never know... That's all for today. Erica

Contemplativeness

Hm, I'm not afraid of dying. Rather, I'm afraid that no one would care if I did. I think that's why I try so hard sometimes. I think I've said before that I'm a people pleaser. That can be a good thing and a bad thing. It depends. Anyway, that was a thought that ran through my head quite a while ago. So I'm not very up-to-date. Probably because of my maths exam which because OVERR on friday. :) Extreme relief. I think I've changed. Since Malaysia. Since Year 7. Just since. I used to be so innocent, young, ignorant and I was happy that way. I never thought or cared a thing about what people thought of me. Okay, so maybe when someone said something I'd feel hurt or whatever, but I'd just forget about it. Now, I don't know. Do you think I've changed? I really want to ask that question to someone who's known me since I was a little girl. But obviously not my family. Because you know how when you see someone everyday, the change is so gradual you don't notice? Yeah, that would be a slight problem. I'm not sure if I changed for the better or for the worse. My accent. My thoughts. My feelings. My likes and dislikes. My mannerisms? Meh. Contemplating things make me get to know myself better I guess. Erica