Contemplativeness

Hm, I'm not afraid of dying. Rather, I'm afraid that no one would care if I did. I think that's why I try so hard sometimes. I think I've said before that I'm a people pleaser. That can be a good thing and a bad thing. It depends. Anyway, that was a thought that ran through my head quite a while ago. So I'm not very up-to-date. Probably because of my maths exam which because OVERR on friday. :) Extreme relief. I think I've changed. Since Malaysia. Since Year 7. Just since. I used to be so innocent, young, ignorant and I was happy that way. I never thought or cared a thing about what people thought of me. Okay, so maybe when someone said something I'd feel hurt or whatever, but I'd just forget about it. Now, I don't know. Do you think I've changed? I really want to ask that question to someone who's known me since I was a little girl. But obviously not my family. Because you know how when you see someone everyday, the change is so gradual you don't notice? Yeah, that would be a slight problem. I'm not sure if I changed for the better or for the worse. My accent. My thoughts. My feelings. My likes and dislikes. My mannerisms? Meh. Contemplating things make me get to know myself better I guess. Erica

Retreat.

In the Bible, There's one part that says something about slapping. It says if someone slaps your cheek, turn the other one for him to slap. It's not in those exact words, but the meaning is pretty much that. So I got slapped today. Twice. But it was too fast for me to even do anything about it. I didn't turn my other cheek. Rather, I burst into tears and retreated to a corner. Unable to do anything but let out a string of uncontrollable sobs. That is so typical me. I don't fight back. Instead, I retreat into the nearest corner. Fight or flight. I choose flight. Not taking revenge is good, I guess. But I don't stay either. I don't say and put a smile and say I forgive you. And truly mean it. I'm sure that's what Jesus would have done. Okay, he was perfect. But still. Of all things, I retreat. Ugh. Feeling the aftermath of another emotional attack. Me.

What happened?

I want my sister back. Please.

Vicky's Party

Last night, Was fun. :) It was Vicky's birthday party at Camberwell at Sophia's. So first, in the morning, Viv and I went to Camberwell Market. There were heaps and heaps of really interesting bits and pieces. And really cheap stuff. (OMGSH! I guess it counts as shopping.) I bought 2 rings for $2 and a pair of earrings for 50c. Heehee. One of the rings was just a plain silver band. Just what I was looking for. Then, off to Viv's house! We took like a whole heap of random photos in her garden. lol. But it was fun. :D And and we called Jessie and pranked her (ish). But we told her later that night. Oh, and we played some Maplestory too. xD At Sofia's There was a MASSIVE pile of food. 2 pastas, 2 huge pizzas, salad, calamari thing, garlic bread and chips. SO much food. :D And then came the cake. Which was also biiiig. But yummy. We were all civilized-ly (? opposite of barbaricly. is that even a word?) fighting over the fruits. Though I gave Kate my red cherries. Ew. Truth or Dare (More like Dare or Dare) I was the first competitor. Me: What's *laugh* cookin', good lookin' *laugh* Chef: *smiles* How are ya? Me: Goooood... *runs away* SO extremely embarassing. But it was fun. :) Later on was worse. Waiter: So, I heard you asked out the chef. Me: Ehem. *Hides* Waiter: Did you ask for his number? Me: *laugh, hide* Hahaha. Christina got dared to do the chicken dance in the middle of the restaurant. And then Vicky had to go clean up a random empty table. And the a double dare! Vicky and I had to go in front of this painting of this woman and act like she was our idol. We were bouncing up and down and laughing like crazy. And acting like we were extremely excited about seeing her and getting Viv to take a photo of us with her. People were actually staring at us. But it was fun. hahhaha. An overview of the night's events.

• photos.
• dares.
• food.
• laughter.

My friends and I. We are awesome. Really. Erica

The Cheerier Post

Huh, I'm in a bloggy mood now since I just posted something. It wasn't a very cheery one so I'll try and make this one cheerier. My life isn't actually that bad. I'm just in one of those moods I seem to be getting lately. They are annoying. SO! (I'm thinking caps will make me sound cheerier?) Um. We're thinking of starting a band!! Well, it was my idea. Okay. Not my idea. One of our ideas that we had since Year 7. One of those many ideas that just floated away and never became anything solid. But I reeally want to make this one work. Because 1. I found out that a friend was in a band and it sounded cool. (Lame but it is one of my reasons) 2. The above reason led me to thinking that it is actually possible. 3. It would be fun. Friend time. (did i just say that?) 4. I reeeeeaally wanna do Dirty Little Secret. Don't ask me why. I think that's all I got for now. Oh, I HOPE YOU GUYS DID WELL IN YOUR SCIENCE TEST! Btw, that was to Isabel, Jessie and Viv. Not that they read this (not that anyone reads this) but Isabel of course. I do appreciate it. Really. Ew. I've gone soppy. Oh, and our Swimming Carnival was on Tuesday. I got my very first RIBBON!Yes, it's quite sad how it actually is my first. I haven't been very lucky the past few years. Being squished by the homework load. Tim Tan P.S Or maybe it's just the essays (PLURAL) I have to do for Chinese school. I dread doing them SO much. P.P.S I decided to change to orange because it was a cheerier colour. :) I SMILED. SEE. I AM CHEERY!

Nonsensical Nonsense

So, I haven't really been in a bloggy mood in a while. I'm not even in one now. I just feel kinda obliged to post something because well. I've had like 3 failed blogs and this ones gotten so far. I'm not giving up now. I don't really have much to talk about because life has just been one big. ball of yarn. Not the greatest metaphore but it was the best I could do. You see, home's been. Ugh. Some days are okay. Other days I feel like just screaming my head off and jumping up and down. It's what everyone else seems to be doing. But then I'll just be giving in. I have a theory. There's a crazy streak in my family. Or maybe not because my parents seem mostly okay and my cousins seem fine. But my siblings. Well, don't even let me start on the problems. And somehow, inside, I think there's this uncontrollable mad thing that could just blow up. At least school's been alright. My friends have been good. It was Vicky's birthday yesterday and I baked her a really yummy Devil's Food Cake. Anyway, it's funny how God knows just how much I can handle. If thing's were going bad at school, my head would just burst in a million pieces and the explosion would be so big that you would find bits of me floating around in space. Wow. Did I just say that? This is a really odd post. Me just rambling nonsensical nonsense. Ignore me. Wait no don't. Cos then I'll feel unloved. Yes, I used that word. The word people use when they feel unloved. Eeek. Okay I'm not liking that word now. The Fortunate Unhappy (Shakespeare, Twelfth Night) Erica

Jam-packed 3 week holiday

So, Here's an overview of my extremely activity-packed holidays. I'm hoping I don't miss anything out. o.o Because it was fun. :) Note: Don't be intimidated by how long it looks. It's not that bad. Okay, maybe it is. kinda sorta really long... I still hope you'll read it! hehe.. Week 1 13th Sept (Monday) - Isabel and Viv at my house. INCEPTION! And Mt Waverley village. :D I think I've posted on that already. 14th Sept (Tuesday) - Went to Ashlyn's house with Joyee and Jess. Pizza for dinner. I mean lunch. Wow. I'm not really thinking straight. Yum. :) And we watched half of this old horror movie called 'IT'. About clowns. I kept getting chills from it for about 3 days after that. I am such a wimp. -.- Clowns. Seriously. Oh and we baked chocolate souffle. :P 16th Sept (Thursday) - Baking day at Rosie's!!!! Baked deeelicious apple crumble and pizza thing. Walked to the park. Pizza dough thing was a small disaster. heeehee. Let's just say my top smelt like dough when I got home. 19th Sept (Monday) - Roar church social thingo. YUM CHAA! In the city. It was okay. I got to know Kim better. :) We had this Amazing Race thing. It was weird. But interesting. o.o Week 2 (Yes, my week is Monday to Sunday. Not Sun to Mon. That's just weird.) (I give up on dates.) Tuesday - Christina's birthday!! With Vic and Nicole and Emily and other random people I don't really know. We watched Salt in GOLD CLASS (first time). Although the wedges and ice-cream were really really yummy, I still think it ain't all that worth the money. xP But maybe that's because I didn't order any Lindt stuff. xP Sunday - Sleepover at Leesh's house. Watched Matrix 2 and 3. :D I didn't like the ending though... Week 3 Monday - Yum Cha with Vic, Nicole, Viv and Christina. That was fun. I had been wanting to go for Yum Cha with friends for aaages. Then we watched Easy A. Not bad. Quite funny in some parts. Wednesday - Sleepover at Jen's with Tess and Eunice. Baked more. :P Mini berry crumbles, brownies and banana muffins. YUM. Thursday - Watched Korean version of Boys over Flowers at Jen's. Don't laugh. xP And then we went to Knox for DESPICABLE ME! I loooove the minions. :D And they're gibberish talk. Friday - We went to Caribbean Market because they had free rides for that day. With the Sims! And I think I finally got Keesha (idk how to spell her name o.o) to like me. :P Because I kept piggy-backing her and pushing her on the swing. xP And we played some soccer. :D Then we went to the Sims house. I miss spending time with them so it was heaps of fun. We played hide-and-seek. It sounds childish but it actually was fun. And truth or dare too. It was kinda lame. But funny at the same time. :) Bad thing was I lost one of my favourite earrings. :( It's the bronze one with a butterfly and a hoop thing... I'm hoping they find it though. Saturday - We were going to go to an alpaka (spelling?) farm but we couldn't go for... Reasons I will not mention. BUT! We met up with our church friends at Hastings for the picnic thing. :D So it was okay. We played like 3 hours of soccer. But it didn't even feel like it because it's just so much fun. :) Kendrick lost his ring on the field. o.o 2 lost things in 2 days. Hmm... So it was a really great holiday. Jam packed with fun. Though there were some not so great times at home. Ah well. Oh and in between all that, I managed to cook roast chicken for dinner one night, bake a failed banana bread and SIEW BAO! If you don't know what it is, google it. It's yummy. :) I might've made pizza too. Idk. Not particularly looking forward to school. Erica